Relationships
When And What Are
The Best Ways To Breakup By Text
Advice From A Therapist
Many relationships will unfortunately come to an end. While it may seem impersonal, breaking up by text is sometimes a good idea. In fact, if done properly it may give both people exactly what they needed. The best way to breakup by text is to first determine if it’s beneficial, write in a language they understand, and empathetically provide closure.
Do What's Best
Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi
We breakup when it is what is best. So it’s important that we do this in a way that is best for us. Are we protecting ourselves? Will a breakup by text allow for an easier separation? Is this the best way to get closure? These are questions we should ask when deciding if it is best to breakup by text.
- Safety First
If you are victim of abuse and/or are afraid for your safety, putting yourself physically in front of that person can be extremely dangerous. For additional help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1 (800) 799-7233
- Getting Away
Do you struggle with saying no or finding yourself being manipulated into situations. A text message can serve as a boundary to help protect you.
- Getting Closure
Closure allows us to move on. Without receiving closure, you or your ex may continue attempting to renter the relationship. Determine whether a text will help or make this more difficult.
Spell it Out Clearly
Some argue that a breakup by text is impersonal. I would say that true if you make impersonal. Writing in a way that is clear, understanding, and personal is the best ways to break up by text.
Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi
- Make It Clear
Text messages can be interrupted many ways. Before you send the message, see if it can be interpreted another way. If it can, make corrections are elaborate.
- Make Sure They Understand
You want to make sure they understand both what you are saying and how serious you are. This is a message that shouldn’t come across as a joke or light hearted.
- Make It Personal
The message should not feel generic. If so, the person may not take it seriously. This could also make their healing process more difficult.
Be Compassionate
Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi
The best way to close a door is empathetically. Otherwise you may have them knocking again or worst, your guilt may encourage you to reopen it yourself.
- Avoid Insults
Insults don’t close doors. They cause resentment and anger which take much longer to pass then sadness. They also will get you into an argument instead of getting on with your life.
- Be Empathetic
Allow yourself to feel how they feel and you’ll have a better idea what to say. Show them that this decision is not comfortable for you either.
An example of text message that contains all three of these points is, “I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I hope you can respect my wishes. This hasn’t been easy for me, so I am not expecting this to be easy for you. It would best for us to breakup and go our separate ways. I’m grateful for the good times we have had together but it is time for us to move on. Please don’t try to get back together with me. I’m asking for you to respect my wishes”.
Important Tips To Remember
- Decide If This Is The Best Way To Do This
- Write In Their Language
- Make It Personal
- The Best Way To Close A Door Is Empathetically
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By: Jordan Joachim
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