How To Breakup With Someone Nicely

Therapist Advice: Breakup With Someone Without Breaking Them

Knowing how to breakup with someone nicely allows you to move forward without any guilt and them without any shame. Here is a therapist’s advice on how to breakup with someone in a way that both people leave better than they started.

How To Breakup With Someone Nicely

Relationships are a beautiful part of life but most relationships must come to an end. This is for all of our benefit. If we learn how to breakup with someone nicely, we’ll leave the relationship by building them up versus breaking them down. The best way to breakup with someone nicely is to help their future, understand their character, and be compassionate. Here are a few suggestions to do just that.

Put The Future Before Their Present

How To Breakup With Someone Nicely

Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi

Often times we avoid difficult or uncomfortable decisions because we don’t want to feel sad in the current moment. Accepting temporary hurt for long term joy is investing in our and our partners future. Here are some ways to do so nicely.


  • Share Tips Their Future Self Will Appreciate

         While it may be hard to hear at first, sharing suggestions on how they can improve personality flaws can benefit them greatly. Do so with kindness and they’ll be more willing to accept these things. If they follow through, their future self and future partner will thank you.

  • Describe Their Ideal Partner

        Immediately after a breakup, many people think they will never find love like this again. Explain to them how this is a good thing as they should be looking for the perfect person for them. Help them by explaining what you think they would look like. Explaining why you aren’t this person will help them see the problem was not them, it was the two of you.

  • Help Them See Their Future

         It may be difficult for them to be optimistic on their own. Bring light to their current situation by explaining how working on their self and finding the right partner will make them happier than they have ever been before.


know Who They Are

     You’ve undoubtedly learned some traits about the person you are now breaking up with. Use this knowledge to find the perfect ways to let them down. Also use this knowledge to find the perfect ways to lift them back up. Knowing someone will naturally reveal how to breakup with someone.

How To Breakup With Someone Nicely

Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi

  • How Do They Communicate

         Are they a texter, phone call, or in person personality. Do they prefer short and sweet conversation or require ample explanations. Talking to them in their communication style will help them better and allow you to not have to discuss this later on.

  • Timing Is Everything

        Are they a morning a person? Are they irritable after work? Do they conversate better after a meal? You shouldn’t prolong what needs to be done but you should balance this with the best time to do so.

  • What Makes Them Feel Better

         Some people need more encouragement then others when saddened. Some prefer to be left alone. Use language they appreciate and actions that they receive well.

Be Compassionate

How To Breakup With Someone Nicely

Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi

      If you want to learn how to breakup with someone nicely, you have to learn to be compassionate. Being compassionate is something we all recognize but view consciously practice. 


  • Avoid Insults and Arguments

         While this seems obvious, it is something we should plan ahead. Hurt people, hurt people. Our ex may begin saying hurtful things to make them feel better. Don’t join their party, it will only make things worst for you both.

  • Use The Tool Of Empathy

        Empathy is allowing ourselves to feel how others feel and being present with them. Allow them to see that this decision hurts you as well but it is only to benefit you both. Empathy is key when learning how to breakup with someone nicely.

  • Treat Others Better Than You Would Treat Yourself

         By talking to our ex better than we would talk to our self, we are insuring we are doing our best to be compassionate.


Important Tips To Remember

  • Put Their Future Before Their Present
  • Avoid Insults and Arguments
  • Timing Is Everything
  • Treat Others Better Then You Would Treat Yourself

We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on How To Breakup With Someone Nicely. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at

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