Self-Harm
How To Deal With Suicidal Thoughts
or Cutting
Changing Our attitude About Who We Are
The thought of learning how to deal with suicidal thoughts or cutting can be overwhelming. We may not even know why we are having suicidal thoughts. We may doubt if they’ll ever go away. Whether you are asking for yourself or are asking how to deal with suicidal thoughts with a teen, it is important you know that these thoughts CAN go away. With proper care and guidance, you may find life to be better than you ever imagined.
“What’s wrong me”? This is a common reaction many people have when they realize they are having suicidal thoughts or thoughts have self-harm. It is a question that can go in the right direction. Unfortunately, instead of looking inside we often look on the out. Instead of examining what differences have been happening within us, we look at the differences between us. We compare ourselves to our peers, family, or role models. We look at how they look and compare it with how we feel. That is not fair! Looks can be deceiving and we may not know truly what others are struggling with, but this is still not the point. The point is that we are aware of what is troubling us, we are aware it is not correct, and we become aware that this is not who we are. When learning how to deal with suicidal thoughts, it is important that we change our self talk from what is wrong with me, to WHAT IS WRONGING ME? This little change in phrasing makes a big difference. It encourages us to stop comparing ourselves to others which can make us feel worst. It encourages us to start thinking about what is happening within us. It encourage us to discover what is making us think this way.
These thoughts may be bad. Our actions may be bad. Our loved ones reactions may be bad, but we are not. The truth is, we are looking for a solution and that is not bad. Our only problem is the solution that we’ve come to. Looking for a solution is a good thing. Choosing the wrong solution is not. Similar to someone addicted to a substance. They are not bad people. They are hurt people who are using a substance in an attempt to heal. We can’t beat people up for looking for a cure to their pain. We can however lift them up and help them see what works best. The solution, like the problem, does not come outside ourselves but from within. Let’s examine some reasons why we preferred these wrong solutions and how we can change that.
Trauma tells us that we are incapable. Tells us that we don’t have enough or are enough to get through. These are qualities of low self-esteem and self-worth. Suicide for many is not just their last resort but what they believe as an only resort. The truth is that it is neither. Low self-esteem tells us that there is no other way. We believe ourselves when we think that we are unable to change, get help, or turn our lives around. We tell ourselves the lie that us going away is the only way for our problems will. This is a double lie, as our problems which could of went away never went did. Instead, they only get passed around to everyone else. You, like many of us, also have the ability to change. Low self-esteem is a contributing factor keeping you from doing so. So our goal now must turn from harming our self to encouraging our self in an effort to raise our self esteem.
Raising our self-esteem can be compared to the gas we put into our cars to push us forward. You’ll get a lot farther with a full tank than one running on fumes. There are other things that may get in the way of us moving forward efficiently. There may be other things getting in the way of our ability to help ourselves. Depression can be compared to flat tire. Making it difficult for us to move or feel as if we have any life in us at all. Trauma can be compared to a faulty anti-lock braking system. Triggers or false warnings may be initiating emergency braking causing us to get into other accidents. Anxiety may be causing our engine to shudder as we lose confidence in our ability to steer. The chemical balance of our brain can be compared to our engine lacking the proper fluids required for it to perform as intended. Our mental health is extremely important for our success in defeating suicidal ideations or thoughts of self-harm. Due to this being our own mental health that is suffering, we can not do this alone. We need help from others in a better position and with a better understanding than ourselves. We can find this in support groups, therapy, and through the taking of proper medications.
Happiness is not as far you may think
This is something that has been very difficult. The fact that we are considering hurting our self or taking our life, tells us that we believe happiness to be either an impossibility or too far away. The truth is, happiness is not just at the finish line. Many of us have shared that it was the process of self-discovery, the learning of what abilities we had within, and the moments of clarity that we had along the way to be some of the best moments of our lives. Some of us look back in regret. We wished we enjoyed this incredible process more during the journey instead of always thinking about the future. Happiness begins right now and I encourage you to embrace it in this journey today, rather than looking back at it tomorrow.
Healing Together Is Healing Better
Despite how your feeling, your not alone. There are many who are currently and more importantly have in the past felt like you. They’ve learned how to deal with suicidal thoughts. By talking together, we protect and uplift each other.
Dial: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
We Can Be Heroes
We are at the beginning of our journey and like with any beginning, it is hard to see the end. You may find this hard to believe because where you are today, but in the future you are hero. Heroes usually have tragic origin stories and yours is no different. Overcoming these thoughts and behaviors is heroic. You will have persevered when others have given up. You will have saved others from being deeply impacted by your loss. Others that you may not even have realized. Others that were struggling too. If you also choose to do so, sharing your story will be like you using your powers to empower and raise awareness to others. Friends and family will look to you with pride. They will be amazed by your strength and achievements. They will see you as more than someone who has learned how to deal with suicidal thoughts but as someone who overcame great depths. You will have become a role model, no hero to which they look to for inspiration in their time of need.
Important Tips To Remember
- You are not bad, your solution is
- Nothing is wrong with you, something is wronging you
- Believing in ourselves starts with raising our self-esteem
- Happiness is not as far as you think, in fact it can begin as soon as now
- DON’T fight your own battle, enlist the help of healthy friends and educated professionals
- We CAN BE HEROES!
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By: Jordan Joachim
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