Relationships
7 Fantastic
Relationship Advice Tips
From A Clinical Perspective
As a counselor, some of the best relationship advice I’ve found is to learn to understand, put yourself in others shoes, realize it’s better to give than receive, learn boundaries are for others benefit, get the blueprints, make the most of your time together, and know yourself before anyone else.
Relationship Advice For Them
Photography By: Lia Bekyan
Wait, I thought this was to help me? It is, and a part of helping yourself is helping others. This is not just a feel good philosophy. When we help others, they are in a better position to also help us.
1.) Put Yourself In Their Shoes
The best way to understand where someone is coming from is to understand how they got there. By putting ourselves in their shoes, we understand the steps they took to get to where they are. This should be deeper than just trying to get their point. Think of the person’s history and character. Understand who they are to get a better view of their perspective. This will help you understand their thought and better equip your reply.
2.) It’s Better To Give Than Receive
This saying has remained golden for good reason. Most of us have come to the realization that it feels better watching someone open our gift than it feels to receive our own. In relationships however, our gifts keep on giving. When we go out of our way to meet the need or be helpful to others, we get more than the good feeling of seeing someone grateful. We also have encouraged them to do the same for us. So we feel good in this moment and when they continue to return the favor.
3.) Boundaries Help Them More Than You
Many times we don’t want to set boundaries because we don’t want to upset others. In the long run, we are doing just that however. By not setting healthy boundaries, we are doing more than just conditioning others to be unempathetic of others. We are also helping them encourage the downfall of our relationship as they move us closer to the point of where we can no longer stand this. It is better for us to defuse this now, before it explodes later.
4.) Get The Blueprints
Blueprints are more than just a drawing. They are a representation of the vision of that architect. Never assume to know the vision or direction that your partner has for your relationship. Ask them for their blueprints. Don’t be afraid to ask for specifics. Blueprints do not lack any detail. Once we have the blueprints, we will know whether we should continue to work with this architect and what we need to do to make this happen.
Relationship Advice For You
Honestly, this list is way too short. There’s a ton of great relationship advice that you can use and we’ll make sure to add them to future articles. Here are several extremely important ones however.
Photography By: Lia Bekyan
5.) Make the most of your time
Time is so precious. Once we live a moment, it is gone forever. Cherish each moment together and really embrace every experience. You’ll be surprised how incredible a relationship can become, when both partners are practicing awareness. Whether we are waiting in elevator or enjoying a romantic dinner, appreciating and cherishing this moment in time with the person next to us changes the dynamic of the relationship astoundingly.
6.) Forgive and Forget
You don’t need a record book of your partners mistakes. Don’t worry, if they haven’t fixed their flaws, they’ll be sure to remind you of them. Forgiving others is not letting them off the hook. It is letting us off the hook. We no longer have to hold onto resentment and can return to a state of peace. Forgetting is the last piece of that equation. I’m not saying that we allow bad behavior to run wild, I’m saying that we free ourselves from the burden of holding onto it. If our partners are working hard to not let us forgive or forget, then they themselves are begging to also be forgotten.
7.) Know yourself before anyone else
When we are getting to know someone it is not just to be nosey. We are attempting to learn their character so that we may know if they are permitted to have a role in our story. Well we can’t know that if we don’t even know ourselves. Understanding who we are, what we desire, and what things we need to work on will educate us as to the relationships we should be having. When I know who I am, I also know who I need you to be.
Important Tips To Remember
- Listening is understanding
- Boundaries help them, not hurt them
- Forgive and forget
- Know yourself before anyone else
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By: Jordan Joachim
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