Relationships
toxic relationship signs
Learn the signs we struggle to see
Toxic relationship signs may be hard to see at first. Don’t be hard on yourself if this article points out some things that may of been in front of your very eyes. They say love is blind, and it’s hard to see signs when we aren’t seeing clearly.
To your defense, we never learned about relationships in school. Math and science are extremely important but if your like most people, you interact with people far more than you do geometry. So why aren’t we learning toxic relationship signs in school? Relationships are simply our interactions with other people and sometimes those interactions are unhealthy. The same way unhealthy foods taste good at first, after some time unhealthy relationships hurt us physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Two Eyes Are Better Than One
If were blinded by love, than we need to find someone that can see clearly and is willing to lend their eyes. Hey, what else are friends for? Well, many things but this just happens to be one of those things. Friends can help us see things from a different perspective. This brings us to our first few signs.
- Keeping us away from our friends
A toxic partner can’t afford for you to see them for who they are. Therefore, they try to keep you away from the people that would warn you.
- Discrediting our friends opinions
If you do begin to listen and share some of your friends thoughts with your partner, they will quickly belittle or dismiss their opinion. A healthy relationship considers others opinions, a toxic relationship shuts them down.
- Making us leave our friends for theirs
Our friends tend to have our backs and a toxic partner knows this. One toxic relationship sign is your partner attempting to make you trade out all of your friends for theirs. This is especially true if their friends support their toxicity.
I want all of you for myself
It sounds romantic at first. You want all of me?! This however, is a red flag. Think of the famous quote, sharing is caring. When you love something, don’t you enjoy talking about it, showing it off, and encouraging others to try it out for themselves. Sharing your partner isn’t in terms of intimacy. Sharing your partner is letting others enjoy them socially.
- Stopping Our Social Life
A toxic partner may shame you for wanting to do things without them. They may accuse you of cheating. They may even claim they have trust issues to guilt you into only being around them.
- Never Allowing For Alone Time
While it’s nice to have someone to do things with, it’s unhealthy to no longer be allowed to have your me time. Some toxic relationships rob us of the important time we need for ourselves.
- Getting In The Way of Our Careers
If trust issues prevent us from being social, fear prevents us from being productive. Some toxic partners fear that by you becoming better, you’ll realize that you deserve better and eventually leave them.
When it was good, it was good
A toxic relationship, doesn’t always feel that way. In fact, sometimes it’s a great beginning that helps us forget it’s terrible present. A toxic partner uses the good times to help you not see your currently in the bad.
- Manipulating
Toxic relationships are magical. They make one thing appear like another. Toxic partners are great at twisting things, people, and situations into their favor
- Gas Lighting
Have you ever uncovered a truth and had your partner try to make you feel crazy. This is gas lighting. Toxic relationships take away your beliefs by making what you believe seem crazy.
- Talking Down
Toxic partners realize that the best way to get someone to stop fighting them is to convince them they cant. Talking down and belittling someone is a tactic to lower their self-esteem and self-worth.
Hurt People Hurt People
Maybe we don’t know what caused our partners to act this way, maybe we do. Either way, them being hurt is NO EXCUSE for them to hurt us. It is not ok!
- Abusive
Toxic relationships are abusive. They cause physical, emotional, or mental abuse. Abuse hurts us in the present and in our future. Abuse does not stop or go away on it’s own. Please get help now!
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1(800) 799-7233
- Degrading
Toxic relationships are humiliating and disrespectful. Toxic partners need to destroy your self-esteem in order for their relationship to exist.
- Take Advantage
Toxic partners take advantage of us. They will use you up for whatever you will give up. Whether it is your time, heart, finances, or body.
Listen to Your Heart
I don’t believe you found this article by mistake. You’ve learned some toxic relationship signs, so now let’s put them to the test. If it’s still difficult to see, let’s adjust the contrast of this picture.
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Do you feel valued? (not used)
Does your relationship make you feel valuable? Being valuable and used are two different things. In fact, the most valuable things are the things we are afraid to use. Do you feel like the most valuable person in your partners life because of who you are and not for what you can do. One way to test this is to stop doing things and see how they react.
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Do you feel empowered? (not tied down)
Does your relationship make you feel better than before? Does being in your relationship make you feel better than you were before. If you were to leave your relationship, would you feel free? If breaking up feels like breaking loose, you were being tied down.
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Do you feel loved? (would you treat someone the way they treat you)
This is a tricky question. It’s easy to think someone wanting us around or telling us sweet things means that they love us. But love is an action word. Do their actions say you are being loved or manipulated? If you saw someone treating someone the way you were being treating, would you call it love? Would you treat someone the way you are being treated?
Important Tips To Remember
- Use your friends, they can see things we can’t
- You shouldn’t be their world, just an admired part of it
- Not everything is as it seems, question yourself and them too
- Just because they were hurt doesn’t mean you have to be too
- Ask yourself, is this what love would do, NOT say
We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on Toxic Relationship Signs. Be a part of our community. If your too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com
By: Jordan Joachim
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