Relationships
Healthy relationship Boundaries
What should or Shouldn't You Allow
If you are having a hard time setting healthy relationship boundaries, the first place to start is with another healthy and functioning couple. Then define what is healthy to you and communicate effectively. Handle each other with care and don’t be afraid to give each other a little space.
If Your Not Looking Up,
Your Looking Down
Why don’t we learn about relationships in school? One of the most important topics is never taught. This is why it’s important you find a healthy couple to look up to. Befriend them, study them. and ask them for advice. If you don’t have a role model to look up to, you’ll find yourself looking down on yourself.
- Model The Role Models
Many people can tell you who their role models are but few actually model them. What’s the point of having a model, if you aren’t working to replicate them. See what their doing right and practice that. No seriously, actively practice it.
- Find Yourself In Someone Else
Maybe you don’t want to stop being who you are. Great, I am not asking you too. I am asking you to envision how you personally would adapt these traits and make them your own. You are more than your mistakes, you are also the great qualities you haven’t found yet.
- What Are They Doing Wrong
Setting Healthy Relationship Boundaries
Setting boundaries works best when you both agree on where the line should be. This ensures no one is confused but also gives you two a chance to work together on the future of your relationship. This is a valuable experience.
- What’s Our Vision
First start by describing what the both of you see as being healthy. This is where we set the common goal we will be working towards.
- What Makes You Smile
Help your partner share what behaviors make you happy. Ask them what does the same for them. Educate your partner on what you’d like to see more of.
- What Makes You Cry
It is important that we address the things that hurt us. Sometimes we assume that it’s obvious, but were all so different. Help each other understand how not to hurt each other.
Words Reveal The Heart
One of the easiest ways to determine if your relationship is healthy or not is by the words being used. Healthy relationship boundaries determine whether our words are bringing us down or lifting us up.
- Share Your Intentions
Sharing your intentions is a great way to stop manipulation. If we are honest about what are true intent is, we can stop ourselves from tricking our partners into doing what they are unaware of.
- Honesty
One of the greatest characteristics to have. Set the line where no lies are acceptable. Whether small or big, this is a line we choose not to cross if we want to keep our relationship healthy. This is not an excuse to hurt feelings without feeling guilt. This is encouragement to discover ways to share our feelings without damaging others.
- Two to One Ratio
You have two ears and one mouth. Make it the standard to listen more than we talk. Listening more is not being quiet. You can be quiet and not hear a word. Listening more is giving your partner a chance to express themselves and actively working to understand what they are trying to say. Since we are talking less, we are choosing our words wisely. This means when we are listening to not only what our partner is saying but why their words were so important for them. This builds incredible conversation skills!
Handle With Care
If you had a rare precious gem how would you handle it? Exactly, treat your partner better than that. Unlike a gem, we can be damaged more than just physically.
- Respect My Mind
Set the boundary of never doing anything to hurt anyone’s mental health and only doing things that help it. Avoid gas lighting and start putting out mental fires.
- Love My Heart
Protect each other’s emotional state. Be each other’s peace when the world get’s chaotic. Be each other’s rock when you need support. Healthy relationships don’t brake hearts, they mend them.
- Violence Is Never The Answer
I wish this went without saying, but the sad truth is many people think hitting or being hit in their relationship is normal. I’m not sure where you learned this, but unlearn it fast. There is never a scenario where hitting the person you love is healthy. If you are experiencing any type of abuse, please call for help now!
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1(800) 799-7233
Boundaries Require Space
Giving someone space is not a bad thing. It also may not be what you think. Let’s wrap up on the last of our healthy relationship boundaries.
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Be Right Back
It’s not goodbye, it’s I’ll talk to you later. Talking at the right time provides the right results. Give each other space to cool down or gather your thoughts. Not only will you get to your solution quicker, it’ll be less painful too.
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Take Your Time
We’re all different and so are our internal clocks. Does your partner need a little more time to get over something? Healthy relationships don’t force the healing process. Don’t prioritize removing your guilt over healing your loved one’s heart.
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Couples Need Me Time Too
Someone wanting to spend some time by their self is not a bad thing. It’s actually very good for us. Healthy relationships don’t guilt partners that want to do self care. Health relationship boundaries realize that we do better when you feel better.
Important Tips To Remember
- Find a healthy couple to look up to
- Define your boundaries with your partner now
- Watch how you talk to each other
- Handle each other with care
- Give each other space
We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on Healthy Relationship Boundaries. Be a part of our community. If your too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com
By: Jordan Joachim
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Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com