Therapy/Relationships
Does Couples Counseling Work?
And How Does Couples Counseling Work
Congratulations, you’re searching for answers. Knowledge is half the battle and that’s true of the question “does couples counseling work” too. As an experienced couples counselor, I’d love to share the answer with you. As a bonus, I won’t just answer “does couples counseling work”, but also how does couples counseling work.
While the process may be complicated, the answer to “does couples counseling work” is simple. The answer is yes. The process and solution, may look different for everyone but the steps remain the same. Being open minded to change, willing to put in the work, and patiently awaiting the results are the fundamental steps in making couples counseling work.
How Does Couples Counseling Work?
Couples counseling is when partners meet with a licensed professional to better their relationship. The length in time will vary depending on the need of that couple. During these sessions we learn about ourselves, our partners, and us as a couple. During this period, we learn how to put these new revelations to work.
- Finding A Therapist
It’s a first step and it’s an important one. You want to find someone that you both would be willing to trust and share with. Don’t worry if you get this wrong on the first try. Learning what you don’t like about a certain therapist is as valuable as you do. Call around and ask questions.
- Meeting Regularly
Without meeting you and hearing your story, I can’t tell you how often you should have therapy. I can tell you that it should be regular however. Being regular keeps us in a healthy state mentally and keeps our therapist aware of where were at. Plus, if you can’t commit to saving your relationship, how can you commit to your actual relationship.
- Learn How To Talk About It
Therapy is not just an opportunity to talk about it, but also to learn how to talk about it. Being effective communicators is a valuable tool. Therapy teaches us how to do this. Therapy is not a space to tear each other apart. It’s a place to build each other back up.
Be Open Minded
Remember, we cam to therapy because something wasn’t working. Our best thinking got us here. Now is the time, to try something else. Sometimes if we want to see something new, we need to change our view.
- Give Your Therapist A Chance
We know that you know yourself better than anyone else. What you don’t know is that we do this all the time. Many times it’s the option you never thought would work, that makes major improvements.
- Give Your Partner A Break
I’m not telling you to excuse poor behavior, I’m asking you to understand it. Exploring who they are and how they became this way opens more than our minds. It opens our hearts to being more empathetic and their eyes to seeing you care. It’s easier for them to care if they know you do too.
- Learn Something New About Yourself
Even if we haven’t done anything wrong, there is always something we can do better. There is always ways we can become better. Be open minded to seeing what that would look like for you.
Be Willing
Knowing and doing are two big steps. Those steps can seem far away if we miss the step in between them, being willing. It can be tough, here’s our tips to get you there.
- You Don’t Have To Like It
The hardest part of willingness for most is that they are waiting to feel it. You don’t have to feel up to it or even want to do it, willingness is doing it regardless. Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t feeling it yet. Do it because you need to, not because you want to.
- Get Fed Up
Relationship issues can be frustrating, depressing, and aggravating. Change is hard but not as hard as staying in those feelings. Get fed up with not changing. Get fed up with complacency and do something to change yourself. It is worth it!
- Encourage Yourself
Use positive self-talk to encourage yourself. We beat ourselves and each other up enough. By helping yourself through self-encouragement, you will also be learning how to encourage your partner.
Be Patient
Everyone want’s their problems to disappear over night. I wish this could happen for you too. It is a process however and for some people, some steps are longer than others.
- Everyone’s Different
There are things that you may get or do better than others. If you get something faster than your partner, it becomes an opportunity for you to practice patience, empathy, and healthy teaching skills.
- It’s A Process
It’s going to take time. We’ve gone through this article quickly, but some of these stages can take many a long time to truly grasp. Many good things can happen during that time. Be patient.
- Rinse, Wash, And Repeat
There are going to be times when you swore you were passed this already. You weren’t, repeat the process and be kind to each other. Your getting closer. There are going to be times where you successfully clean out some dirty laundry. Guess what, laundry never ends. As you continue to work and play as a couple, your going to make some mistakes and create new stains. Now that you understand this process you can rinse, wash, and repeat.
Important Tips To Remember
- It works if you work it.
- Have an open mind.
- Practice willingness.
- It doesn’t happen over night. Be patient!
We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on “Does Couples Counseling Work”. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com
By: Jordan Joachim
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Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com