Relationships
How To Get Over Someone
Or How To Get Over A Breakup
The key in learning how to get over someone is to look at the relationship, not the person. You may not be with this person again, but the relationship that you adored can return stronger than before. If you want to learn how to get over a breakup, you need to get to the core of why this relationship was so impactful, use personal navigation tools to get you to a place of acceptance, and be kind to yourself on this journey.
Why was this relationship so impactful?
Photography By: Pablo Merchán Montes
Every person you come into contact with is a relationship. Obviously, some relationships are more impactful than others. Understanding why, is not so obvious but here are just a few suggestions to find out. Once we do, we can begin our journey of letting the person go and seeking the relationship to hold onto.
- Low Self-Esteem
Thoughts of never having anyone as good again or thinking you will always be alone, are indicators of low self-esteem. This person didn’t build a relationship with you by accident. They saw the qualities in you that you aren’t. By increasing your self-esteem, you empower yourself to love again. Click Here To Read How To Build Self-Esteem
- Never Feeling This Type of Connection Before
Has this person made you feel special, loved, or a way you never have before? That’s a problem because you should have. Rather than chasing the one person who has done this, we should begin chasing more opportunities for others to do so. Look at what did/didn’t make this connection so strong. Use this knowledge when building new relationships.
- Fear of Change
This is not uncommon. Learning how to get over a breakup and is learning how to deal with change. Fear of the unknown tells us that change will be bad. With proper guidance, change becomes very good.
Using Personal Navigation Tools
Personal navigation tools are techniques and coping mechanisms suited best for you to aide in helping your mental health. These tools guide us better than other approaches and can be used to learn how to get over a breakup.
Photography By: Pablo Merchán Montes
- Get Grounded
Grounding techniques take our minds from obsessing about things out of control to finding peace in our presence. One way to get out of your mind, is to get into your body. Do something physical that requires your attention, such as exercise or a hobby. When thinking about your ex, switch your thoughts to focusing on your senses. What do you currently smell, hear, and see? Treat yourself to something tasty and be intentional as you feel different textures in your surroundings.
- Check Your History
Take a moment to think about how you have gotten through tough times before. What helped? What made things worst. Understanding who you are and what helps you, is a great way to lean how to get over someone.
- Avoiding Dead Ends
The same way there are tools that can best guide us, there are also tools that could have no benefit. If you are someone that has been in bed for days, then taking a nap may not be a good suggestion for you. If you have a history of jumping into relationships quickly, then finding someone new to date may not be wise.
- Remember The Bad
Nostalgia loves to tell us how great the past was and is not always realistic. A great way to learn how to get over someone, is to think about their character defects. This isn’t being mean to them, it is being real to us. Remind yourself of their faults and irritable traits, so that you may free yourself of the lie that they were perfect and can begin to let them go.
If you want to Learn
How to get over someone,
Be Kind To Yourself
Photography By: Pablo Merchán Montes
It’s been said that breakups are worst than deaths. This is because unlike in death, a breakup is someone who is still around but you are still unable to see. It makes it much harder to be acceptant. To learn how to get over a breakup, we must be kind to ourselves. It’s ok to be sad, doing what’s best for you, and encourage yourself through this grieving process.
- It’s Ok To Be Sad
Being sad doesn’t mean you are failing, it is actually the beginning of healing. Losing someone is tough. Learning how to get over a break up is difficult. The goal is always to get better, but beating yourself up about being sad can make things worst.
- Do What’s Best For You
If you weren’t sad, what would you be doing for fun? What things bring you joy? What hobbies make you who you are? Do these things and get back to who you are.
- Encourage Yourself
This process won’t happen over night. You’ll need self-encouragement and kind reminders to stay on track. If you want to learn how to get over a break up, learn how to build yourself back up.
Important Tips To Remember
- Understand the core importance of that relationship
- Build your self-esteem
- Use your personal navigation tools
- Be Kind To Yourself
We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on How To Get Over Someone. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com
By: Jordan Joachim
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