Stress/Anxiety/Relationships
I Can't Stop Thinking About Someone
How To Get Over Someone
It may feel as if you can’t stop thinking about someone, but with proper guidance you absolutely can. It is important that you do so in a healthy manner that will benefit both you current self and future relationships. The key to stop thinking about someone is to understand what your mind is telling you, use personal navigation tools to find a place of peace, and encouraging yourself to stay on the path of mental freedom.
Understanding Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Someone
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
The obvious answer is because you love or care about them. The answer we are looking for is much deeper than that. Once we understand why, we are able to give ourselves what we are seeking in better ways than we previously imagined.
- What Do You Miss?
It is very common for someone to say they can’t stop thinking about someone because they miss them. You need to go deeper however. Do you miss how they treated you? Do you miss how they made you feel? Do you miss their physical characteristics? Understanding this gives us the ability to transfer what we are missing from a person to a scenario. This encourages us to seek this out more than that person.
- Everything Is A Reminder
Seeing traits of that person in others and being reminded of them by things, tells us that we have not resolved our internal struggles. Your mind is telling you that you have work to do. Once we have accepted the outcome and no longer fear these thoughts, reminders no longer serve a purpose. Getting over a breakup is not just an accomplishment, it is a process.
- It’s A Blessing, Not A Curse
The constant thinking of an ex is part of the problem, and it is intensified by another part. Our perspective of the breakup determines the process. The breakup and our constant thoughts about our ex are telling us something. Being able to identify and solve this, will not only empower us but also help our future relationships. By looking at this process as a positive opportunity and not just a currently bad experience, we bring peace to ourselves today and tomorrow.
using Personal Navigation Tools
Everyone is different and what works best for everyone is too. Personal navigation tools are techniques and coping mechanisms suited best for you to aide in helping your mental health. Here are just a few that might work best for you.
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
- Grounding Techniques
Grounding techniques are ways to get yourself centered, present, and away from the thoughts that are bothering you. While used commonly with anxiety, they work well when you can’t stop thinking about someone too. When you begin thinking about that someone, start focusing on the things around you. What do you hear, see, or smell? Do you have something tasty you can taste? What materials around you can you feel. It is impossible to think about two things at once, grounding let’s us think about what we choose.
- Remember The Bad
Nostalgia will have you believe that everything was perfect then. Although, no one is perfect. Thinking about the bad traits, characteristics, and things we did not like about her ex can aide us in learning how to get over a breakup. When we start fantasying or obsessing about our ex, thinking of these things will encourage us to move in the other direction.
- Focus On Yourself
The truth is that these thoughts are telling you more about yourself than them. For this reason, it is important we think about ourselves to move forward. This is a time where we may be being hard on ourselves. Commit to focusing on your good qualities and goals to increase yourself esteem. This will empower you. When you being thinking about your ex, quickly remind yourself that this means you need to focus on yourself and think about these positive things.
Encourage Yourself
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
You are not your thoughts and they are not in control. If you were never taught this, it can be a hard concept to understand. Don’t be a slave to your thoughts. You can stop thinking about that person by checking your thoughts, reminding them your in charge, and by encouraging yourself.
- Remind Them Who’s In Charge
Thoughts are electrical signals traveling across synapses in the brain reacting to external stimuli. To put simply, they are assumptions of the brain based upon your conditions. When a thought comes into your mind, you have the ability to say incorrect or we are not focusing on this now.
- Encouraging Yourself
Your going through a tough time and this is difficult. Change the narrative in your mind and begin encouraging yourself. When these thoughts occur, be kind and tell yourself “I understand this is difficult but you have the ability to get past this and most definitely will”.
- Be Patient, Be Forgiving
This is new a skill and it isn’t common to learn over night. Be patient with yourself as you learn to control your thoughts. During this learning experience, forgive yourself when you struggle. Being hard on yourself will only make it worst. Being encouraging produces far better results than being discouraging.
Important Tips To Remember
- Get to the core of why you’re really having these thoughts
- Use your personal navigation tools
- Encourage Yourself
- Be kind to yourself
We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on I Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com
By: Jordan Joachim
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