Relationships
Interracial Dating Advice:
10 Tips From A Couples Counselor
A Therapist's Guide To Interracial Dating
Although interracial dating has become more common, interracial dating advice has not yet become common sense. The best interracial dating advice is centered around never assuming, showing respect, understanding differences, and knowing how to communicate. The following are 10 tips from a couples counselor who has also found happiness and success in his interracial marriage.
1.) Never Assume, Ask
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
While you may feel that you understand their culture well, there will always be something that you don’t understand completely. Even if you’re right, your assuming can be offensive. Ask questions! This one of the biggest keys in interracial dating advice.
2.) Don’t Adopt Their Culture, Adapt
Culture is both fun and fascinating. It is easy to get caught up in the excitement and begin acting as if this culture is also ours. This can offend our partners and give us the false assumption that we fully understand that culture. Adopting is making their culture our own. Adapting is respecting that we are different and creating a space where both can thrive together.
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
- This is not who you are
Depression may tell you that this is now who you are. Remember this is happening to you, it is not you. This perspective will help you return to who you are.
- Just do it
Don’t let your feelings determine what you do for the day. By doing things despite our feelings wanting to do so, we are actively pushing ourselves out of our depression.
- Find Your Joy
What has made you feel better in the past? What makes you happy? Do the things that you know you make you feel better so that you may once again find your joy.
3.) Learn How To Communicate
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
Communication is a major key in relationships and different cultures do it differently. Understanding how your partner best receives information is just as important as understanding their style of communicating. Body language, tone, and choice of words mean different things for different cultures. This is expert level interracial dating advice.
4.) Learn How To Compare
It’s common to share how things are different for us when we learn something new. Sometimes others may view this as a way of us saying our culture is better. Rather than creating something for our partner to grow into resentment, discuss why you are struggling to understand or are enjoying what is different for you. Elaborate more on your feelings and less on your experience.
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
5.) Talk To Your Family about It
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
While you don’t owe anyone an explanation nor do you need their approval, inviting your family into a discussion about it will help them feel a part of. This can encourage them to be more supportive, educate others, and be prepared before meeting your partner. Also, any negative reactions are better solved now before during their meeting.
6.) Talk To Their Family about It
Starting this conversation with your partners family, let’s them know you value their thoughts and desire to be a part of their inner circle. The may even have some great interracial dating advice of their own.
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
7.) Put Yourself in Their Shoes
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
There are going to be times and scenarios in your culture that your partner finds uncomfortable. You may not realize it, but they can even be traumatic. Putting yourself in their shoes will help during those times. Don’t think about how you would feel if you were them. Think about how they feel being them. Even better, ask them!
8.) Don’t Take Things Personally
You’re going to get looks and may hear comments from people who aren’t as open minded as you. Remember they are only exposing their ignorance. While you may be what reminded them of their lack of compassion, this is their problem and not yours. Don’t allow their character defects to become your own.
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
9.) Share Experiences
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
Get into the habit of discussing what this experience has been like. Even if it’s been easy and you feel you don’t have to, doing so will encourage your partner to do the same. This will give them an opportunity to talk if needed. This can also encourage each other when things are going great. It would be a great idea to befriend another mixed couple and share interracial dating advice.
10.) Forgive Them
Nobody is perfect and your partner will not understand your culture overnight. Don’t expect them to instantly understand what took you years to develop. If they say something wrong or incorrect, educate and forgive them. If you want this to work, forgiveness is going to be a trait you’ll have to learn.
Photography By: Andrej Lišakov
Important Tips To Remember
- Never Assume, Ask
- Learn How They Communicate
- Don’t Take Things Personally
- Forgive Them
We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on Interracial Dating Advice. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com
By: Jordan Joachim
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