Relationships

How To Deal With A Narcissistic Parent​

How To Deal With A Narcissistic Parent

Relationships/Family

How To Deal With A Narcissistic Parent

Therapist Advice: Understanding and Dealing With A Narcissist

Thankfully, awareness of narcissistic behaviors has become more popular. This has helped many with dating and relationships. Unfortunately, knowing how to deal with a narcissistic parent is not as commonly known. Read along as we seek to change that.

How To Deal With A Narcissistic Parent​

Narcissism within the family can be difficult to deal with. Narcissism works best when others are unwilling or unaware on how to challenge it. The best way to deal with a narcissistic parent is to understand what they suffer from, know how it impacts you, and prioritize yourself over them. Here are a few suggestions on how to do just that.

Understanding What They Suffer From

How To Deal With A Narcissistic Parent​

It may seem like dealing with a narcissistic parent is impossible. With a proper understanding however, dealing with them becomes much more manageable. A narcissistic parent, like all narcissist suffer from a disorder where they believe the world revolves around them and anyone who disagrees with them is delusional.

 

  • Lack Of Empathy

         One of the key defining characteristics of a narcissist is their inability to feel empathetic. They really lack the ability to feel how you feel. For this reason, they can’t truly understand where you are coming from. It is a disorder and a sad one at that. 

  • They Are The Gift And You Are Just The Occasion 

        Narcissist view themselves as a gift. You are blessed to have them near you and you are just a tool for them to use. Anything that contradicts this belief does not make sense to a narcissist. It is easier for them to believe everyone else is crazy before they can can accept that their belief could be wrong.

  • Incurable But Manageable

         If you have a narcissistic parent, know that they will be a narcissist for life. With therapy they can become aware of their behavior and get better but it will never go away. Loving a narcissist can be a difficult life long commitment. 

 

Know How It Impacts You

     You’ve undoubtedly learned some traits about the person you are now breaking up with. Use this knowledge to find the perfect ways to let them down. Also use this knowledge to find the perfect ways to lift them back up. Knowing someone will naturally reveal how to breakup with someone.

How To Deal With A Narcissistic Parent​
  • Doubting Reality

         Although a narcissistic parent believes they’re always correct, the way they see reality is not. In order for you to see things their way, they need to manipulate you. This can cause you to doubt reality and begin to incorrectly see the world through their eyes.

  • Frustration

        Although knowing they have a disorder can keep you from becoming manipulated, it is only half the battle. Being constantly challenged by them and attempting to explain to them can be both frustrating and exhausting. This also has the ability to turn into other mental health symptoms in you such as depression.

  • Low Self-Esteem

         Being constantly put down, told you are incorrect, and being left to feel inferior takes a toll on your self-esteem. In time, you may begin to think they are correct and despite all you do will be unable to ever be right in their eyes.

Prioritize yourself over them

How To Deal With A Narcissistic Parent​

      If you want to learn how to breakup with someone nicely, you have to learn to be compassionate. Being compassionate is something we all recognize but view consciously practice. 

 

  • Avoid Manipulation

         A narcissist needs to manipulate you to get what they want and have you see things through their eyes. Avoid manipulation by challenging their words and being yourself.

  • Respect Your Feelings

        You’ve spent years developing your gut and intuition. Don’t allow a narcissistic parent to take that away from you. Question them and their comments. Respect your feelings by trusting yourself. 

  • Set And Follow Through With Boundaries

         By now you should have a better understanding of your narcissistic parent. Set some rules and boundaries for behaviors and comments that you will no longer allow. When they break them, tell yourself and them that you are no longer allowing yourself to be treated this way. This may make them angry, but your happiness matters too!

 

Important Tips To Remember

  • What They Suffer From Is Incurable
  • They Way They See The World Is Incorrect
  • Don’t Allow Yourself To Be Manipulated
  • Set and Follow Through With Your Boundaries

We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on How To Deal With A Narcissistic Parent. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com

Grow Again Counseling

By: Jordan Joachim

Contact Us

Email:

Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com                                                                                                    

how to beat sexual performance anxiety without medication

How To Beat Sexual Performance Anxiety Without Medication​

Relationships

how to Beat
Sexual Performance Anxiety
Without Medication

Therapist Advice: Sexual Performance Anxiety

Sexual intimacy is one of the tools we use to maintain the connection within our relationship. This can provoke anxiety for many. Follow along as a therapist shares how to beat sexual performance anxiety without medication.

how to beat sexual performance anxiety without medication

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

Sexual performance anxiety, like all performance anxiety can be reduced with proper understanding and technique. Understanding yourself, partner, and experience are important in such. The best way to beat sexual performance anxiety without medication is to build your self-confidence, focus on your partner, and be present. Here are a few suggestions on how to do just that.

Build Your Self Confidence

how to beat sexual performance anxiety without medication

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

While it strangely is one of the most disliked tips, one of the best ways to beat sexual performance anxiety without medication is to build your self-confidence. Anxiety and confidence our enemies. If you strengthen one, you weaken the other.

 

  • Practice Makes Perfect

         There is a reason why this saying is so popular. While no one is perfect, regular practice helps us learn more about ourselves and get better. Remember you are learning. Discuss this with your partner, build confidence, and have fun at the same time.

  • Encourage Yourself

        Become your own cheer leader. Positive support goes a long way and encouraging yourself builds self-esteem. While staying in the moment, root yourself on and compliment yourself.

  • Forgive Yourself

         Your not going to conquer this in a day, so forgive yourself to have a better attempt tomorrow. Being hard on ourselves increases our anxiety the next time around. Forgive yourself and give yourself permission to continue trying and getting better.

 

Focus On Your Partner

     A part of the anxiety you are experiencing is coming from worrying about your performance. Coincidentally, this turns into anxiety that gets in the way of performance and gives us more to worry about. One way to beat this viscous cycle of sexual performance anxiety without medication is stop thinking about our performance and start thinking about our partners.

how to beat sexual performance anxiety without medication

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

  • Worry Less About You And More About Them

         Rather than thinking about how you are doing, look at your partner. Ask them what they’d prefer and place your attention on them. Whenever a thought about yourself arises, quickly begin focusing on them.

  • Look For Support

        Get your partner involved. Tell them you are looking for cues for what they enjoy and ask them to encourage you when you are following them.

  • Know Your Partner Is Self Conscious Too

         You are not alone. Everyone is constantly thinking about themselves. Remember this and be different. Tell your partner things to put them at ease and in return make yourself feel better in the process.

Be Present

how to beat sexual performance anxiety without medication

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

      If you want to learn how to breakup with someone nicely, you have to learn to be compassionate. Being compassionate is something we all recognize but view consciously practice. 

 

  • Respect The Moment

         Intimacy is more than the release of sexual tension. It is a shared moment in time within a deep expression of love. Rather than think of yourself, give this moment the respect it deserves and be one with the experience.

  • Be One With Your Partner

        Remove the thought of yourself. Pretend you do not exist. Increase the intimacy of the moment and decrease your anxiety, by becoming one and moving in unison with your partner.

  • Value The Moment

         When we value an experience over our ego’s, we put more energy into this effort and less into our internal struggles. These are the steps to learning how to beat sexual performance anxiety without medication. 

Important Tips To Remember

  • Practice Makes Perfect
  • Forgive Yourself
  • Be One With Your Partner
  • Value The Moment

We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on How To Beat Sexual Performance Anxiety Without Medication. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com

Grow Again Counseling

By: Jordan Joachim

Contact Us

Email:

Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com                                                                                                    

12 Couples Vacation Ideas To Help Relationships​

12 Couples Vacation Ideas To Help Relationships

Relationships

12 Couples Vacation Ideas To Help Relationships

Therapist Advice: Using Vacations To Better Relationships

Vacations are great for relaxing and unwinding, but they can be great for bettering our relationships as well. This article was written by a couples counselor and shares 12 Couples Vacation Ideas To Help Relationships.

12 Couples Vacation Ideas To Help Relationships​

Photography By: Thomas Boxma

Couples vacations, when done right, help us reconnect and reignite the flame of our relationship. The best couples vacation ideas to better a relationship are centered around romance, spending quality time together, and are limited in distractions. Keep reading to learn 12 Couples Vacation Ideas To Help Relationships that are centered around these themes.

Couples Vacation Ideas For Romance

12 Couples Vacation Ideas To Help Relationships​

Photography By: Thomas Boxma

     Some couples wrongly assume that just being together will make a situation romantic. Incorrect, romance takes work but some locations make it easier to obtain. Keep in mind the times that you visit locations. Spring Break can bring an unpleasant party atmosphere and distract you from paying attention to each other.

 

  • Paris, France

         Some cities scream romance and Paris may be the loudest. Have a picnic under the Eifel Tower. Take a dinner cruise on the Seine River. Have your portrait taken at Montmartre and visit the I Love You wall.

  • Venice, Italy

        If the language, music, and food don’t put you in a romantic mood, a private gondola ride along the Grand Canal will do so.

  • The Maldives

         A private Bongalo overlooking the Indian Ocean while you lay under the stars with the one you love. The Maldives is sure to ignite any heart. 

 

Couples Vacation Ideas For Quality Time

  The best way to obtain quality time is to make your partner the focus of your trip, not the destination. Locations that provide seclusion and intimacy remove distractions and encourage us to be intimate. You don’t need the most expensive destination to obtain ultimate privacy. Visiting a location during it’s off season is one way to feel more secluded.

12 Couples Vacation Ideas To Help Relationships​

Photography By: Thomas Boxma

  • Seychelles

         Private beaches along remote hillsides. Seychelles provides seclusion, intimacy, and luxury.

  • Iceland

        Stay in a cabin, snuggle up by a fireplace, and enjoy the Northern Lights in the arms of your love.

  • Caladesi Island State Park, Florida

         How do you find seclusion in one of the largest tourist locations in the United States. Caladesi Island has no resorts and requires a ferry or private boat to stay. This private adventure is not too far away.

Couples Vacation Ideas That Limit Distractions

12 Couples Vacation Ideas To Help Relationships​

Photography By: Thomas Boxma

      If you want to learn how to breakup with someone nicely, you have to learn to be compassionate. Being compassionate is something we all recognize but view consciously practice. 

 

  • Hike Inn, Georgia

         This location along the Appalachian provides more than privacy. They discourage cell phone use by having no electrical outlets in the rooms. They also ask you to not being cell phones on the property.

  • Sheldon Chalet, Alaska

        No Wi-Fi, cell phone coverage, and the nearest town is 50 miles away. Have a picnic on a Glacier or watch the Northern Lights without letting social media ruin your romance.

  • Chiva Som, Thailand

         With various types of massages, treatments, and detoxes available. Chiva Som allows you to connect with your partner, mind, and body. Also, no phones are permitted outside of your room.

 

Important Tips To Remember

  • Romance Is More Than Being Alone
  • Focus On Your Partner Not The Destination
  • Quality Time Together Is Better Than Personal Time Alone
  • Limit Your Distractions And Ditch Your Phones

We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on 12 Couples Vacation Ideas To Help Relationships. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com

Grow Again Counseling

By: Jordan Joachim

Contact Us

Email:

Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com                                                                                                    

Couples Vacation Tips For Relationship Building​

Couples Vacation Tips For Relationship Building

Relationships

Couples vacation tips
for relationship building

Therapist Advice: How To Grow In Your Relationship While On Vacation

     Vacations help us unwind, relax, and reenergize. While they have been shown to increase work performance, they can also help us in our relationships as well. Read along to learn helpful couples vacation tips to enhance your relationship.

Couples Vacation Tips For Relationship Building​

Photography By: Thomas Boxma

     While everyone can benefit from a vacation, not every vacation is beneficial for your relationship. Rather than choosing any destination that looks appealing, it is important that you create a vacation that is centered around the enhancing of your relationship. The best couples vacation tips for relationship building is to choose romantic destinations that focus on just the two of you and make your time together the overall experience. Read along to learn how to do just that.

Just The Two Of Us

Couples Vacation Tips For Relationship Building​

Photography By: Thomas Boxma

The same way you can feel alone in a room full of people, you can feel disconnected from your partner while on a trip with them. It’s easy to be distracted by attractions and a new location. It’s important you plan your vacation with the focus being the relationship, not the getaway.

 

  • Spend Time Building Intimacy, Not Expecting Intimacy

         Don’t expect your destination to do all the work. The point of this trip is for you to build intimacy not find things to do it for you. Make a conscious effort to be more attentive, present, and romantic with your partner. 

  • Remove The Distractions

        Secluded destinations can make this easier. Choose a location with privacy. Choose a location where you are encouraged to stare into your partners eyes and not your phone. 

  • Make Your Partner The Destination

         Remember this vacation is less about where you go and more about who your with. Make your time together the focus. Whatever the location, it’s how you expierence it together that matters most.

 

Romance Is In The Air

     You can’t have couples vacation tips without mentioning romance. While this is seems obvious, doing it is not. Many people believe just being with their partner is romantic. If this was true, we wouldn’t need articles like this or couples counselors such as myself. Here are some suggestions to get the flame going.

Couples Vacation Tips For Relationship Building​

Photography By: Thomas Boxma

  • Visit Areas Where Romance Is The Theme

         Not all locations are romantic. In fact, even romantic locations can change with the season. A beach can be romantic but no so much on Spring Break. Choose a location that encourages intimacy and fills you with passion. 

  • Visit Areas Where Other Couples Are

        While you want to feel secluded and have privacy, having other couples around can help too. Seeing others being romantic can remind us to get closer to our partner. Seeing couples doing the opposite can remind us of what we came here to do. Use both the good and bad examples of other couples around you.

  • Make Time To Talk

         Spend time discussing feelings, desires, and wants romantically but not critically. Being away from our everyday routine and stressors can make these conversations more impactful. Take advantage of this romantic atmosphere and work on your communication skills.

Experience Experiences Together

Couples Vacation Tips For Relationship Building​

Photography By: Thomas Boxma

      If you want to learn how to breakup with someone nicely, you have to learn to be compassionate. Being compassionate is something we all recognize but view consciously practice. 

 

  • Limit Alone Time And Focus On Couples Activities

         While personal time is important, it’s not the purpose of this trip. Time to limit this time and spend most of your time doing activities together and creating quality time.

  • Focus On Your Partners Experience

        Self-centeredness will never make the list of couples vacation tips. If both partners are focusing on their partners happiness, both partners end up happy and with a better understanding of each other. 

  • Let The Sparks Fly

         In the beginning of a relationship, it’s the new and unfamiliar experiences that excite us. You have the opportunity to recreate this in new locations. Explore new territories, do new things, and spend time with your partner as you fall in love all over again.

 

Important Tips To Remember

  • Spend Time Building Intimacy
  • Remove The Distractions
  • Limit Personal Time
  • Focus On Your Partners Experience

We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on Couples Vacation Tips For Relationship Building. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com

Grow Again Counseling

By: Jordan Joachim

Contact Us

Email:

Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com                                                                                                    

Conquering The 3 Biggest Problems In Interracial Dating​

Conquering The 3 Biggest Problems In Interracial Dating

Relationships

Conquering
The 3 Biggest Problems In Interracial Dating

Interracial Dating Advice From A Therapist

Interracial Dating has become more commonly accepted but conquering it’s problems is not common knowledge. Read a long to get advice from a couples counselor.

Conquering The 3 Biggest Problems In Interracial Dating​

Photography By: Lia Bekyan

Dating is difficult and interracial dating introduces are new set of concerns. We’ve found most interracial relationships to struggle with the same set of problems.  The best way to conquer the three biggest problems in interracial dating is to learn how to communicate, adapt to their culture, and face prejudice. Follow along as we discuss how to successfully do all three.

Speaking Their Language

Conquering The 3 Biggest Problems In Interracial Dating​

Photography By: Lia Bekyan

     Communication is a major key in every relationship. While speaking their language could literally entail learning their actual tongue, in this sense it means just learning how they communicate. People communicate differently and people of different cultures are no exception to that.

 

  • Learning Their Cultural Norms

         Sometimes we take offense of things that weren’t intended to be. Learning more about a culture can save us from this. Learning traditions around greeting, eating, meeting family, and speaking are good places to start.

  • Understanding Their Style Of Communication

      Most arguments occur from lack of and poor communication. Misinterpreting leads to communication breakdown. Understanding how they communicate entails learning their body language, tone, and intent. Some cultures and people are more reserved, while other’s are more outspoken.

  • Helping Them Understand Your Difficulties

         It is important that we never assume. Just because you say something, doesn’t mean that someone understood it. Communication is more than talking, it is also listening and comprehending. Discuss with your partner why you are struggling with somethings. Ask your partner to share their perception to be safe.

 

Adapting To New Culture

     This is something that can be difficult to do. This doesn’t always mean were close minded. We are creatures of habit and sometimes it’s difficult to change the things we have been doing our entire lives.

Conquering The 3 Biggest Problems In Interracial Dating​

Photography By: Lia Bekyan

  • Stuck In Your Own Traditions

         Your culture is a beautiful thing but being unable to accept any change will bring a distavorous crash to your relationship. Interracial dating involves both people trying different things.

  • Not Seeing The Importance of Their Traditions

        Resentments occur when we don’t feel respected. Downplaying or ignoring a tradition of our partner can create bitterness. This can become evolve into fights and arguments.

  • Failing To Create A Culture Of Your Own

         Something beautiful happened when you two got together. Don’t stop there, blend the cultures and traditions of you two to create something new. This will tighten your bond in your relationship.

Facing Prejudice

Conquering The 3 Biggest Problems In Interracial Dating​

Photography By: Lia Bekyan

While other problems within interracial dating are sometimes hard realize, this is one that many fear even before the dating begins. It’s sad part of the human experience that no one wishes to be a part of. With the proper perspective and mentality however, it can be navigated through successfully.

  • Outside Pressures

         Not everyone is as openminded as you. Accepting that people are different, helps us to accept that other’s ignorance is a reflection of them not you. When you bump into or hear someone that is closeminded, try to not take it personal. It literally is their problem, don’t let them make it yours.

  • Within The Family

        This one may hurt the most. We want our families to be involved in our relationships and don’t want their faults to be seen as ours. Talk with your family about interracial dating before introducing them to your partner. Talk with your partner’s family to tighten your bond with them as well.

  • Within Ourselves

        This is a tough one. How can I be prejudice if I’m dating someone different? Unfortunately, we all have things that don’t sit well with us. Take a deep look inside to discover yours. Even better, invite your partner into this conversation. This can be a mind opening and bond building experience if done with love. 

 

Important Tips To Remember

  • Learn To Speak Their Language
  • Create A Culture Of Your Own
  • Be Openminded, Towards Others Too
  • Explore Prejudice Within Yourself

We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on Conquering The 3 Biggest Problems In Interracial Dating. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com

Grow Again Counseling

By: Jordan Joachim

Contact Us

Email:

Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com                                                                                                    

Success In Interracial Marriage, Dating, And Relationships​

Success In Interracial Marriage, Dating, and Relationships

Relationships

Success in interracial marriage, dating, and relationships

Tips and Advice From A Therapist

While interracial marriage has become more widely accepted, advice on how to navigate it isn’t commonly known. Here’s advice from a therapist on how to have success in interracial marriage, dating, and relationships.

Success In Interracial Marriage, Dating, And Relationships​

Photography By: Lauro Cassule

Two people becoming one within a relationship is a difficult thing. Two people of different cultures make it even tougher. The best way to have success in an interracial marriage or relationship, is by educating yourself, being respectful, and speaking their language. We have found these key points to be very advantageous and will explain them further below.

Educating Yourself

Success In Interracial Marriage, Dating, And Relationships​

Photography By: Lauro Cassule

     Being openminded does not excuse you from educating yourself. There are many things that you don’t yet understand and that’s ok if you are willing to learn. Here are three topics to educate yourself that will aide your interracial marriage or relationship.

 

  • Learning Their Culture

         Never assume you know or completely understand their culture. Their experience and outlook because of that experience is different from yours. By learning their culture you are not only being respectful towards them, you are educating yourself on their beliefs, attitudes, and characteristics. Remember learning is an ongoing journey that you never graduate from. 

  • Learning Your Biases

        Even the most openminded person in the world has biases. The only difference is that they’ll admit it. Think about how you were raised, what you’ve been through, and belief systems that you hold. Being aware of your biases prepares you for potential arguments and misunderstandings.

  • Preparing For Adversity

        You may be able to look past the color of someone’s skin or difference in their background, but many have not. Sometimes those people are our family or others we hold dearly. Know that this is a reflection of them and not you. Also, be prepared for any struggles you may experience while adjusting to the norms of your partner’s culture.

 

Be Respectful

     Knowledge is a great start but what we do with that knowledge is more important. Knowing how to be respectful with what we’ve learned will help us to be understanding and understood within our interracial marriage.

Success In Interracial Marriage, Dating, And Relationships​

Photography By: Lauro Cassule

  • Celebrate Your Differences

         No two cultures are the same, and you will find areas where you differ. By celebrating or enjoying these differences when they appear, you are being respectful and reducing the chance of conflict. 

  • Don’t Insult

        Humor is a natural coping mechanism and sometimes we use it when we feel confused or feel threatened. Humor towards something we don’t fully understand can be offensive. Joking around or making fun over a cultural difference can often add problems to an interracial marriage or relationship.

  • Don’t Adopt, Adapt

         It can be excited to learn and experience a new culture. Being respectful is not taking it on as your own however. Being respectful is allowing it to coexist with your culture in an atmosphere that celebrates differences

Speak Their Language

Success In Interracial Marriage, Dating, And Relationships​

Photography By: Lauro Cassule

While learning your partner’s native tongue would give you a better understanding of their culture, we are talking about doing much more than that. Speaking their language requires learning, adjusting, and participating in who they are.

  • Learn How They Communicate

         Communication is important in all relationships and this can be difficult in an interracial marriage. Study their culture, how are they communicating through word choice and body language? What is their tone?

  • Be Willing To Adjust

        Speaking another language takes adjustment. Adjusting can entail forgetting what you think you know and becoming teachable. It’s easier to adjust when you are willing to take advice.

  • Try Things Their Way

         Accepting a culture is a start. Actually trying it will help make sense during this learning process. You may come to like their way of doing something and gain a better understanding of what makes them tick.

 

Important Tips To Remember

  • Prepare For Adversity
  • Don’t Adopt Their Culture, Adapt
  • Celebrate The Differences
  • Learn To Speak Their Language

We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on Success In Interracial Marriage, Dating, And Relationships. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com

Grow Again Counseling

By: Jordan Joachim

Contact Us

Email:

Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com                                                                                                    

Interracial Dating Advice: 10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

Interracial Dating Advice: 10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

Relationships

Interracial Dating Advice:
10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

A Therapist's Guide To Interracial Dating

     While there is a lot of dating advice out there, there isn’t much interracial dating advice. This is especially true from a therapeutic perspective. Here are 10 tips from a couples counselor.

Interracial Dating Advice: 10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

Although interracial dating has become more common, interracial dating advice has not yet become common sense. The best interracial dating advice is centered around never assuming, showing respect, understanding differences, and knowing how to communicate. The following are 10 tips from a couples counselor who has also found happiness and success in his interracial marriage.

1.) Never Assume, Ask

Interracial Dating Advice: 10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

     While you may feel that you understand their culture well, there will always be something that you don’t understand completely. Even if you’re right, your assuming can be offensive. Ask questions! This one of the biggest keys in interracial dating advice.

2.) Don’t Adopt Their Culture, Adapt

Culture is both fun and fascinating. It is easy to get caught up in the excitement and begin acting as if this culture is also ours. This can offend our partners and give us the false assumption that we fully understand that culture. Adopting is making their culture our own. Adapting is respecting that we are different and creating a space where both can thrive together.

Interracial Dating Advice: 10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

  • This is not who you are

         Depression may tell you that this is now who you are. Remember this is happening to you, it is not you. This perspective will help you return to who you are.

  • Just do it

        Don’t let your feelings determine what you do for the day. By doing things despite our feelings wanting to do so, we are actively pushing ourselves out of our depression. 

  • Find Your Joy

         What has made you feel better in the past? What makes you happy? Do the things that you know you make you feel better so that you may once again find your joy.

 

3.) Learn How To Communicate

Interracial Dating Advice: 10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

Communication is a major key in relationships and different cultures do it differently. Understanding how your partner best receives information is just as important as understanding their style of communicating. Body language, tone, and choice of words mean different things for different cultures. This is expert level interracial dating advice.

 

4.) Learn How To Compare

      It’s common to share how things are different for us when we learn something new. Sometimes others may view this as a way of us saying our culture is better. Rather than creating something for our partner to grow into resentment, discuss why you are struggling to understand or are enjoying what is different for you. Elaborate more on your feelings and less on your experience.

 

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

5.) Talk To Your Family about It

Interracial Dating Advice: 10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

While you don’t owe anyone an explanation nor do you need their approval, inviting your family into a discussion about it will help them feel a part of. This can encourage them to be more supportive, educate others, and be prepared before meeting your partner. Also, any negative reactions are better solved now before during their meeting.

6.) Talk To Their Family about It

Starting this conversation  with your partners family, let’s them know you value their thoughts and desire to be a part of their inner circle. The may even have some great interracial dating advice of their own.

Interracial Dating Advice: 10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

7.) Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Interracial Dating Advice: 10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

There are going to be times and scenarios in your culture that your partner finds uncomfortable. You may not realize it, but they can even be traumatic. Putting yourself in their shoes will help during those times. Don’t think about how you would feel if you were them. Think about how they feel being them. Even better, ask them!

8.) Don’t Take Things Personally

You’re going to get looks and may hear comments from people who aren’t as open minded as you. Remember they are only exposing their ignorance. While you may be what reminded them of their lack of compassion, this is their problem and not yours. Don’t allow their character defects to become your own.

Interracial Dating Advice: 10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

9.) Share Experiences

Interracial Dating Advice: 10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

Get into the habit of discussing what this experience has been like. Even if it’s been easy and you feel you don’t have to, doing so will encourage your partner to do the same. This will give them an opportunity to talk if needed. This can also encourage each other when things are going great. It would be a great idea to befriend another mixed couple and share interracial dating advice.

10.) Forgive Them

Nobody is perfect and your partner will not understand your culture overnight. Don’t expect them to instantly understand what took you years to develop. If they say something wrong or incorrect, educate and forgive them. If you want this to work, forgiveness is going to be a trait you’ll have to learn.

Interracial Dating Advice: 10 Tips From A Couples Counselor

Photography By: Andrej Lišakov

Important Tips To Remember

  • Never Assume, Ask
  • Learn How They Communicate
  • Don’t Take Things Personally
  • Forgive Them

We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on Interracial Dating Advice. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com

Grow Again Counseling

By: Jordan Joachim

Contact Us

Email:

Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com                                                                                                    

When And What Are The Best Ways To Breakup By Text

When And What Are The Best Ways To Breakup By Text

Relationships

When And What Are
The Best Ways To Breakup By Text

Advice From A Therapist

Breakups can be difficult but the process doesn’t have to be. There are many reasons why a breakup by text is appropriate. Follow along to learn when and how to do just that.

When And What Are The Best Ways To Breakup By Text

Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi

Many relationships will unfortunately come to an end. While it may seem impersonal, breaking up by text is sometimes a good idea. In fact, if done properly it may give both people exactly what they needed. The best way to breakup by text is to first determine if it’s beneficial, write in a language they understand, and empathetically provide closure.

Do What's Best

When And What Are The Best Ways To Breakup By Text

Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi

We breakup when it is what is best. So it’s important that we do this in a way that is best for us. Are we protecting ourselves? Will a breakup by text allow for an easier separation? Is this the best way to get closure? These are questions we should ask when deciding if it is best to breakup by text.

 

  • Safety First

         If you are victim of abuse and/or are afraid for your safety, putting yourself physically in front of that person can be extremely dangerous. For additional help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1 (800) 799-7233

  • Getting Away

        Do you struggle with saying no or finding yourself being manipulated into situations. A text message can serve as a boundary to help protect you.

  • Getting Closure

        Closure allows us to move on. Without receiving closure, you or your ex may continue attempting to renter the relationship. Determine whether a text will help or make this more difficult.

 

Spell it Out Clearly

     Some argue that a breakup by text is impersonal. I would say that true if you make impersonal. Writing in a way that is clear, understanding, and personal is the best ways to break up by text.

When And What Are The Best Ways To Breakup By Text

Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi

  • Make It Clear

         Text messages can be interrupted many ways. Before you send the message, see if it can be interpreted another way. If it can, make corrections are elaborate. 

  • Make Sure They Understand

        You want to make sure they understand both what you are saying and how serious you are. This is a message that shouldn’t come across as a joke or light hearted.

  • Make It Personal

         The message should not feel generic. If so, the person may not take it seriously. This could also make their healing process more difficult. 

Be Compassionate

When And What Are The Best Ways To Breakup By Text

Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi

      The best way to close a door is empathetically. Otherwise you may have them knocking again or worst, your guilt may encourage you to reopen it yourself. 

 

  • Avoid Insults

         Insults don’t close doors. They cause resentment and anger which take much longer to pass then sadness. They also will get you into an argument instead of getting on with your life.

  • Be Empathetic

        Allow yourself to feel how they feel and you’ll have a better idea what to say. Show them that this decision is not comfortable for you either.

An example of text message that contains all three of these points is, “I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I hope you can respect my wishes. This hasn’t been easy for me, so I am not expecting this to be easy for you. It would best for us to breakup and go our separate ways. I’m grateful for the good times we have had together but it is time for us to move on. Please don’t try to get back together with me. I’m asking for you to respect my wishes”.

 

Important Tips To Remember

  • Decide If This Is The Best Way To Do This
  • Write In Their Language
  • Make It Personal
  • The Best Way To Close A Door Is Empathetically

We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on When And What Are The Best Ways To Breakup By Text . Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com

Grow Again Counseling

By: Jordan Joachim

Contact Us

Email:

Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com                                                                                                    

How To Breakup With Someone Nicely

Therapist Advice: How To Breakup With Someone Nicely

Relationships

How To Breakup With Someone Nicely

Therapist Advice: Breakup With Someone Without Breaking Them

Knowing how to breakup with someone nicely allows you to move forward without any guilt and them without any shame. Here is a therapist’s advice on how to breakup with someone in a way that both people leave better than they started.

How To Breakup With Someone Nicely

Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi

Relationships are a beautiful part of life but most relationships must come to an end. This is for all of our benefit. If we learn how to breakup with someone nicely, we’ll leave the relationship by building them up versus breaking them down. The best way to breakup with someone nicely is to help their future, understand their character, and be compassionate. Here are a few suggestions to do just that.

Put The Future Before Their Present

How To Breakup With Someone Nicely

Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi

Often times we avoid difficult or uncomfortable decisions because we don’t want to feel sad in the current moment. Accepting temporary hurt for long term joy is investing in our and our partners future. Here are some ways to do so nicely.

 

  • Share Tips Their Future Self Will Appreciate

         While it may be hard to hear at first, sharing suggestions on how they can improve personality flaws can benefit them greatly. Do so with kindness and they’ll be more willing to accept these things. If they follow through, their future self and future partner will thank you.

  • Describe Their Ideal Partner

        Immediately after a breakup, many people think they will never find love like this again. Explain to them how this is a good thing as they should be looking for the perfect person for them. Help them by explaining what you think they would look like. Explaining why you aren’t this person will help them see the problem was not them, it was the two of you.

  • Help Them See Their Future

         It may be difficult for them to be optimistic on their own. Bring light to their current situation by explaining how working on their self and finding the right partner will make them happier than they have ever been before.

 

know Who They Are

     You’ve undoubtedly learned some traits about the person you are now breaking up with. Use this knowledge to find the perfect ways to let them down. Also use this knowledge to find the perfect ways to lift them back up. Knowing someone will naturally reveal how to breakup with someone.

How To Breakup With Someone Nicely

Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi

  • How Do They Communicate

         Are they a texter, phone call, or in person personality. Do they prefer short and sweet conversation or require ample explanations. Talking to them in their communication style will help them better and allow you to not have to discuss this later on.

  • Timing Is Everything

        Are they a morning a person? Are they irritable after work? Do they conversate better after a meal? You shouldn’t prolong what needs to be done but you should balance this with the best time to do so.

  • What Makes Them Feel Better

         Some people need more encouragement then others when saddened. Some prefer to be left alone. Use language they appreciate and actions that they receive well.

Be Compassionate

How To Breakup With Someone Nicely

Photography By: Federica Giacomazzi

      If you want to learn how to breakup with someone nicely, you have to learn to be compassionate. Being compassionate is something we all recognize but view consciously practice. 

 

  • Avoid Insults and Arguments

         While this seems obvious, it is something we should plan ahead. Hurt people, hurt people. Our ex may begin saying hurtful things to make them feel better. Don’t join their party, it will only make things worst for you both.

  • Use The Tool Of Empathy

        Empathy is allowing ourselves to feel how others feel and being present with them. Allow them to see that this decision hurts you as well but it is only to benefit you both. Empathy is key when learning how to breakup with someone nicely.

  • Treat Others Better Than You Would Treat Yourself

         By talking to our ex better than we would talk to our self, we are insuring we are doing our best to be compassionate.

 

Important Tips To Remember

  • Put Their Future Before Their Present
  • Avoid Insults and Arguments
  • Timing Is Everything
  • Treat Others Better Then You Would Treat Yourself

We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on How To Breakup With Someone Nicely. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com

Grow Again Counseling

By: Jordan Joachim

Contact Us

Email:

Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com                                                                                                    

Overcoming The Breakup Stages

Overcoming The Breakup Stages

Relationships

Overcoming The Breakup Stages

A Therapist's Guide

     While most of us have gone through breakups, few of us know how to do so successfully. In this article, we will discuss the breakup stages and share a therapist’s perspective on how to overcome them.

Overcoming The Breakup Stages

Photography By: Pablo Merchán Montes

You may of seen the stages of grief used when discussing breakup stages. This is because of the similarities felt between losing someone in a relationship to losing someone in life. If you want to successfully overcome the break up stages, have a good understanding of the stages of grief will help tremendously. You should first understand denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Then you should work to be aware of where you currently are and encourage yourself along this journey.

Denial: The First Stage

Overcoming The Breakup Stages

Photography By: Pablo Merchán Montes

     The most common first stage for many. Denial is the inability to accept what has happened. Denial in the breakup stages may manifest in the belief that an ex made a mistake, is playing a joke on you, or will attempt to get back with you.

  • Use A Friend

        It’s difficult to see things clearly when it is happening to you. It’s also difficult to think clearly when are anxious or depressed. Talk to a friend to get their opinion on what may of happened.

  • Look At It Logical

         Denial prioritizes emotions over logic. Emotions tell you that this person couldn’t of broken up with you since you feel so strongly about them. Although, sometimes people do leave people that they care about. Try to look at the relationship logistically to determine what has truly happened. 

  • Believe Them

        If someone has told you they are breaking up with you, believe them. It’s nothing to joke about or play around with. Having respect for yourself is not allowing yourself to be toyed with. 

 

Anger: A Secondary Emotion

     Anger is a secondary emotion. That means it is a response to another feeling we are having. Anger during the breakup stages may be seen in thoughts of getting revenge, doing something destructive, or being filled with resentment. Anger causes us to question, “how dare they do this to me”?

Overcoming The Breakup Stages

Photography By: Pablo Merchán Montes

  • Breathing Exercises

         The body uses short and shallow breaths when angry. This is a part of our fight or flight response. By taking deep and long breaths, we are telling the body everything is ok and the mind that we want to find peace.

  • Let It Pass

        Anger like all emotions serves a purpose. It is unhealthy and unuseful to remain in this state however. Allow yourself to be angry but also encourage yourself to move on.

  • Empathy

         Empathy is a great way to combat anger and resentment. By seeking to understand the thoughts and share the feelings of others, we decrease the anger that we once felt for them.

Bargaining: Attempt To Change Reality

Overcoming The Breakup Stages

Photography By: Pablo Merchán Montes

      This is the “what if” of the breakup stages. Bargaining is our attempt to think of ways to get that person back or change the situation that we are in. Bargaining looks for ways to change reality, rather than accept it.

 

  • It’s not up to you

         The problem with bargaining is that it feeds the fantasy that you are in control of others. People make their own decisions. Honor other’s wishes as you would want the same for yours.

  • Reality Check

        What you should of, could of, and would of are not what you did. Rather than thinking of ways to alter reality, learn from this experience to equip yourself in the future.

  • Embrace

         Embracing is the step required to move into acceptance. Embracing is the process of us becoming aware and honest of reality.

 

Depression: The Progress Killer

      Depression looks different for many and for that reason, many deny being depressed. Think of depression as a flat tire. As we feel less full of life, depression makes moving forward more difficult. After going through all of these breakup stages, it is easy to feel depressed.

 

Overcoming The Breakup Stages

Photography By: Pablo Merchán Montes

  • This is not who you are

         Depression may tell you that this is now who you are. Remember this is happening to you, it is not you. This perspective will help you return to who you are.

  • Just do it

        Don’t let your feelings determine what you do for the day. By doing things despite our feelings wanting to do so, we are actively pushing ourselves out of our depression. Do what you need to do, not what you feel like doing.

  • Find Your Joy

         What has made you feel better in the past? What makes you happy? Do the things that you know you make you feel better so that you may once again find your joy.

 

Acceptance: The End Of Breakup Stages

Overcoming The Breakup Stages

Photography By: Pablo Merchán Montes

Acceptance is the final stage because after accepting the situation, there is nothing left to do. Acceptance gives us permission to heal and move on. At first, we may view acceptance as saddening but the reality is that acceptance is our key to happiness.

  • It is what it is

        While it’s not my favorite saying, the principle radically encourages acceptance. Acceptance is seeing something for exactly what it is and not attempting to manipulate or obsess over it.

  • Let it go

        If you are still holding onto an idea, plan, or even a hope, you aren’t practicing acceptance. Acceptance is letting go of any attempt to hold onto a previous relationship. Letting gives us the freedom to handle what comes next.

  • Wish them well

         Forgiveness gives us freedom and empathy replaces resentment. By wishing others well, we push ourselves into the stage of acceptance and provide healing to our broken heart. If we loved that person, we want what was best for them. Even if that may of been us, what is now best for them is for them to complete this journey of discovering what they want. If this person has wronged us, wish them well so that they may learn and no not continue to do this to others.

 

Important Tips To Remember

  • Use friends to help you see
  • Do what you need to do, not what you feel like doing
  • Acceptance gives us permission to heal and move on
  • Forgiveness gives us freedom and empathy replaces resentment

We’d love to hear from you. Comment your thoughts or feelings below on Overcoming The Breakup Stages. Be a part of our community. If you’re too uncomfortable for that at the moment but would still like to talk, reach out to us at Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com

Grow Again Counseling

By: Jordan Joachim

Contact Us

Email:

Info@GrowAgainCounseling.com